Published in Kingstown College Coaching Magazine 2020/2021
The message that a person receives and the way in which they interpret it, is not always as a result of the fault or merit of the sender but instead is often directly influenced by the attitude of the receiver to the sender at that time.
At the starting point of every opinion or attitude and behind every behaviour or action is a persons’ perspective. Dermot Ferris takes us on a journey gifting us with his insight into lasting change through depth of perspective.
“Everything starts in your mind! As you think, so you feel. As you feel, so you respond”
While I would love to take the credit for this insight, I willingly acknowledge that it is an interpretation of a quote by Alan Carr (1985) which he originally developed in his cognitive therapy approach to assist people to stop smoking. That said, I believe it to be a fundamental truth which, if acknowledged, correctly interpreted, and understood can bring significant benefits to our world of coaching.
Its importance for me emanates from its direct link to what, in my view, is a cornerstone of all opinion, feelings, attitude, bias, fear, prejudice, racism, social interaction (positive and negative) and that cornerstone is “Perspective.” I will return to this concept later.
Like millions of people around the world, I have found 2020 to be a very challenging and testing time due to the appearance of Covid-19. While thankfully not having suffered from it, I have nonetheless been challenged by its presence in many respects, from the fundamental way I live my daily life at one end of a scale, to the way I am living my life at the other end of it. In between lies the newly constructed societal barriers which must be endured, counter-balanced by the exciting new opportunities that slowing down my life has thrown up.
For many reasons I feel very fortunate and indeed thankful to have made the pre-Covid-19 decision to broaden my life horizons in seeking further education and so, in October 2019 I embarked on a journey of discovery and learning in Kingstown College when I signed up for the Advanced Diploma in Personal, Leadership and Executive Coaching. I am fortunate because of the timing of my decision and for the many good friends I made there, fortunate also because of the tools that it has given me to deal with my new challenges. I am thankful for the help, guidance and indeed inspiration I received from the course leaders along the way. What I got from this experience was far more than I had expected in so far as it did for me what I was being taught to help others to do and that is achieve lasting transformational change.
Lasting Change
The Kingstown Academy taught me that the creation of an effective coaching relationship was dependent on the establishment of mutual trust, honesty, integrity, and a partnership approach in a non-judgemental and positive atmosphere. My coaching journey has also taught me that the journey, not the destination, is the important element of the process and the initial identification of the true motivation for change is vital. The effectiveness of a coaching relationship can be measured by change, but this in my view is far too simplistic a measure because, if achieving change is the only desired outcome then this can also be achieved in many ways that do not involve coaching.
For example, my natural and personal instinct is to “help” people by way of mentoring. This approach, combined with my business and life experience would in many cases I believe, achieve a positive change and would do so in a much more efficient and timely manner. Indeed, traditional management styles are based on initiating, dictating, and implementing top-down organisational and behavioural change based on the existing company culture and/or the individual management style of the initiator. If however the achievement of lasting change is the objective then a different approach is required, indeed essential.
it did for me what I was being taught to help others to do and that is achieve lasting transformational change
Visionaries like David Cooperrider (1986) identified and promoted the observation that “Organisations move in the direction that they inquire” and in doing so he allowed companies to better understand the genesis of their existing culture and also laid down a roadmap for companies to follow in their desire to implement lasting change. What was so enlightened about this revelation was the requirement that staff be consulted about change; included in the decision-making process; empowered to implement the change and given (and take) responsibility for its implementation. Grant & Hartley (2013) reinforced this vision by contending that the success of a change program is directly related to the “sign in” at a cognitive level of its participants. This ties in neatly with Carr’s contention regarding the cognitive process referenced earlier.
What lies behind the client’s motivation to seek and participate in coaching is therefore central to the overall process.
Perspective Coaching
The theory of “Self-Determination” proposed by Deci and Ryan (1985) looked at ‘Intrinsic’ motivation; internal interest deriving from the distinctive needs of the person for competence and self-determination and ‘Extrinsic’ motivation which is constructed by rewards that are external to the activity. Helping the client to understand which of these are at play in any given situation and why that is so, is critical if the client is to identify the appropriate trigger for change. To do this, we must lead the client on a journey of discovery where they identify what underpins and influences their current view of the world, their current thought processes, their actions, their interactions, their beliefs and their desires. It is my contention that all the above are directly influenced by the client’s current ‘perspective.’
“If you were born where they were born and you were taught what they were taught, you’d believe what they believe.”
While this adage is attributed to Abraham Lincoln, it serves to reinforce my proposition that at the starting point of every opinion or attitude and behind every behaviour or action is a persons’ perspective. It is therefore imperative as coaches that we help the client to understand this perspective if we are to help them identify and understand their motivation for change. I say this as if it is easy to achieve, which I know is not the case, but this realisation fundamentally reframed my preconceived approach to coaching.
On several occasions as both client and coach, my eyes were opened to the fact that the client (who in some cases was me) was not always able to specify what change was actually being sought and / or required. In some instances, the initial goal was actually abandoned or redefined as a result of the application of Appreciative Inquiry Principles and Powerful Questioning and in other cases it became obvious to both my client and myself that the coaching process may not actually result in anything other than a beneficial change in perspective based on an improved level of awareness (knowing what is happening around you) and more importantly an improved level of self-awareness (knowing what you are experiencing).
Ultimately it is the client that must fully understand, acknowledge and accept their own motivations and responsibilities and how they fit with their core values, and Whitmore (2015) encapsulates this for me when he says that “When you truly accept, choose or take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions, your commitment to them rises and so does your performance.”,
I have found that achieving a better understanding of these elements also helped me as a coach to choose the correct tools rather than simply using the tools to implement a change process predetermined by the client but not tested, challenged or validated.
we must lead the client on a journey of discovery where they identify what underpins and influences their current view of the world
The Leadership Timeline Model, in combination with an overlapping Personal Timeline Model is an approach which I have found to be very useful in helping my clients identify pivotal moments in their lives, sources of stress and happiness and overlapping events that gave rise to these feelings. This work allows for and promotes a broadening of perspectives and improves their understanding of the situation they find themselves in.
My subsequent use of “The Wheel of Life” for example was much more focussed on a real and agreed issue rather than being used as a prism to identify or a net to hopefully catch an issue to discuss. The resulting outcomes, therefore, were more meaningful, more powerful, and more relevant to the client.
The Forcefield Analysis with one client allowed us both to look in detail at the barriers and aids (actual and perceived) to achieving the new goal. Some of the perceived barriers were the result of preconceptions about the mindset of Senior Management and the skillset required to succeed in what was perceived to be a politically charged environment. In this instance I felt that a change in perspective would be useful to my client, and I therefore found the “Three Chair Model (traditionally for conflict coaching)”, to be helpful as it resulted in the much sought after and rewarding “light bulb” moment with the client.
On occasion I have introduced my clients to a thought process that I personally formulated many years ago when dealing in the area of conflict resolution but which I now believe has a broader application and is in keeping with the principles of coaching. This insight (which I now boldly call a ‘Perspective Coaching Principle’) I believe gives the client not only pause for thought but ultimately an insight into the possible motivations of others and/or a greater understanding of the motivation for their actions. My principle simply states is that:
“The message that a person receives and the way in which they interpret it, is not always as a result of the fault or merit of the sender but instead is often directly influenced by the attitude of the receiver to the sender at that time.”
Or more simply put; “If I like you, I want to like your message and if I don’t like you, I will look to take offence from it.” I have found that an acceptance and understanding of this principle is a very valuable tool to have in one’s toolbox when confronted by conflict, resistance, and what otherwise would be deemed as illogical behaviour.
My emphasis on the importance of “Perspective” as a cause of, and a potential solution to, many issues has been learnt through my life experience and I have found it to remain true in my coaching practice also.
Consequently, I believe this element should be thoroughly investigated and challenged, identified, actioned/discounted before prompting the client to move on to other solutions.
It is also advisable to identify any changes in the client’s perspective since the previous meeting and the use of powerful questions in the warm up/rapport building stage can help you to determine where they are, for example, on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs vs the last interaction with them.
I do this to ensure that my current approach remains valid and it has been particularly relevant during the turbulent Covid-19 times where many priorities and perspectives have shifted significantly over a very short period.
The Truth Equation
If, like me, your coaching journey has only just begun, then you also enthusiastically look forward to the insights we have yet to learn and indeed impart. A commitment to effectively and honestly implement the “Truth Equation “(Green 2000) is, I suggest, a good platform on which to build our future.
This approach, which I attribute to my time at the Kingstown Academy, will help us and our clients to better identify and ultimately understand and accept their true motivations and in doing so achieve the benefits from coaching, namely self-directed learning, self-realisation, personal growth, improved personal performance resulting in lasting, transformational change.
While this is a somewhat daunting challenge, I take comfort from the founding father of coaching when he says that “There is no one right way to coach” (Whitmore (2015) and I hope that the journey I have just taken you on will be of assistance to you in your search for ‘your way’ of coaching.
Bibliography:
David Cooperrider (1986) “Appreciative Inquiry: Toward a Methodology for Understanding and Enhancing Organizational Innovation”
Deci, L. and Ryan, M (1985) Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behaviour. New York; Plenum
Anthony M. Grant & Margie Hartley (2013); Coaching: An international journal of Theory, Research and Practice. Developing the leader as coach: insights, strategies and tips for embedding coaching skills in the workplace.
Weiner, B. (1979) A theory of motivation for some classroom experiences. Journal of Educational Psychology, – (1992) Human Motivation: Metaphors, theories, and research, Thousand Oaks,CA:Sage
Carr, Alen (1985) The easy Way to Stop Smoking.
Whitmore.Sir. J. (2015) 5th Ed. Coaching for Performance, The Principles and practice of coaching and leadership; Nicholas Bradley, London.
By Dermot Ferris
Dermot is a family man with a wife and four grown children and a highly experienced Entrepreneur and Businessman. Dermot held Senior Executive Director positions in both the Corporate and SME sectors before establishing his sourcing company in Hong Kong alongside his consulting and LED Lighting companies in Dublin.
Dermot is a Business Mentor with Enterprise Ireland and separately with the DCU / Ryan Academy and in 2020 qualified as a Personal Leadership and Executive Coach.
He is a Graduate in Economics and Politics from UCD, a graduate in Marketing from the College of Marketing, a Graduate in Personal, Leadership and Executive Coaching from the Kingstown Academy.
