Gilles Varette shares his thoughts on why your New Year’s resolutions may do more harm than good, and what strategies to adopt to minimize the risk…
Who does not see January for a life-transforming resolutions or just new resolutions?
However there is a good chance that resolution could do more harm than good, said Amy Cuddy (2014), she goes to explain that, not only we can be really bad at setting reasonable goals but also when we do not meet those unreasonable goals, we fill ourselves with feelings of anxiety and lower our self-worth.
Amy Cuddy’s research is based on the hypothesis that there are 4 psychological traps prevent New Year’s resolutions from working well for many (most?) of us.
- Deal with absolutes
- Framed by negativity
- Focus too much on outcome v process
- Overly affected by outside forces.
She suggests an approach to changing those behaviours in the following post:
An approach to goal setting: take a few steps back first
Take a minute to tune in, redefine, and reconnect with your values through the actionable steps: in an enlightening podcast, Susan David explains how to define emotional agility, how to develop it in our life, and how it applies to any goal that we want to pursue – whether that’s financial independence, early retirement, career advancement, or greater success in our health and our relationships.
Some Frameworks and Tools
If you have not set goals yet, or just want to review your goals here are a few suggestions
Five questions to Ask yourself
- If you were to FULLY live your life, what is the first change you would start to make?
- What do you secretly yearn for?
- What is missing in your life right now?
- What areas of your life could be upgraded or tweaked?
- What are 3 things that would make a huge difference in your life?
Journaling
Another way to help identify goals (a great journaling exercise) simply put pen to paper and make a “stream of consciousness” list. And write:
a) “I don’t want _________” and then make a non-stop list until they run out of ideas.
Then do the same thing answering the question:
b) “What I really want is _________”
Then review the list and look for potential goals by using the next tool
Goal Setting tool
Whether we achieve our goals depends on whether we take action. But what decides whether we take action in the first place? How motivated you are! So, simply pick your Top 3 goals, then answer the questions below. Keep writing even if you repeat your answers. The information below will help you feel clear, focused and more motivated to achieve your goal.
By Gilles Varette
