Powerful Questions: 10 Words

At the beginning of their journey, most learners focus on the importance of powerful questions. This is very important. I remember when I started to study to be a coach, I wrote lists of questions everywhere, in a notebook, then in a second one, in an online document, on post-it notes to have them ready during the online sessions, …

The main questions coaching educators are asked by students, and their concerns are connected to the following topics:

• How to ask the questions?
• How to propose them in the most effective way?
• How will they remember them all?
• Where should they look for new ones, write them and save them?
• How to be able to listen and at the same time be able to think and prepare the following powerful question?

These are all legitimate questions which every coach has asked himself/herself, but the best thing, in my opinion – based on my personal experience, after having discussed with the tutors of Kingstown College and other experienced coaches, in addition to what comes to me as returned by the students during the lessons – is not to limit oneself and to think of the process of developing the ability to ask questions as a process of mnemonic learning, but to think of it as a virtual muscle, which together with active listening can and must be trained daily.

So I would like the above questions to be integrated and completed with the following ones:

1. How do we train our ability to ask questions?
2. How do we train to be powerful and effective?
3. How do my values ​​/ beliefs influence my questions?

Let’s try to answer them:

1. How do we train our ability to ask questions?
2. How do we train to be powerful and effective?

Many students assume that it is important to take note of the questions, to have a notebook in which to have stored and copied hundreds and hundreds of them. This is great, it helps to inspire us, it helps us to explore and to position ourselves differently than we are used to. Some more talented students already have the ability to propose open and powerful questions, but this is not enough. It is equally important, indeed, to consider the following:

1. The feedback on how our questions helped the client during the session and his journey. We can do this indirectly: by using our intuition, our perceptions of how the coachee responded (verbal and paraverbal communication), how he/she reacted (the non-verbal communication) and by evaluating how they reflected before answering; and directly, by asking explicitly at the end of the session, which question helped them the most? How did the coach help the coachee?
2. Our reflective practice carried out at the end of the session that allows us to analyze and debrief the session and any direct and indirect feedback received.
3. The later time reflective practice, carried out by analyzing a group of coaching sessions and paths, trying to identify any strengths, patterns, questions that made a difference as well as areas for improvement.

3. How do my values ​​/ beliefs influence my questions?

We often do not realise when we ask a question that we are influencing (perturbing) our client’s thoughts and responses in a certain direction.

That said, we must be aware that, just as in physics an element placed in a closed system, it affects it, we too, as coaches, when we interact with our clients, and even more by asking questions (regardless of what we say, how we say it, how we behave), we influence our customer in one direction or another. For this reason it is very important that the coach know and be aware of their own values ​​and beliefs in order not to include them in the question.

Hence my technique (and hopefully useful teaching) that I repeat to students “as a mantra” during the lessons: a good way to avoid putting in our questions values, ​​beliefs, tips and advice is: “Limit your question to ten words, possibly including conjunctions and articles “.

The main objections and criticisms that are raised to me are: “How do you do it?”, “But it is impossible! How can I make the question clear for my coachee in 10 words? ”

I answer in a calm and relaxed way that I understand their point, that nothing is impossible, and practice, exercise, and reflective practice are of tremendous help.

Another thing that I find helpful and suggest to my students is to record (with the client’s permission / or in some test sessions) some of their coaching sessions and watch them calmly, so that they can see the areas for improvement. In particular, I invite them to observe and ask themselves the following questions: how do they ask their powerful and effective questions? What kind of approach do they have? What do they like about their session?

Here are some examples of great questions to get your thinking started:

1 – What is the conversation you are not having?
2 – What is your blindspot in this project/thinking/conversation?
3 – How can you share your project / goal to a 5 or 10 years old child?
4 – Which is the best way to start a conversation with yourself?
5 – What are you looking for as your feedback?
6 – What are you looking for in a coach?
7 – When you talk to yourself what do you hide?
8 – What is the question that you wouldn’t like to receive?
9 – What is your powerful question?
10 – What would you like to ask a friend?

About the author

Fabio Garganego is a Faculty Member at Kingstown College and a Life and Career Coach with a particular interest in Corporate Well-Being and team coaching. He has over 10 years experience in coaching and mentoring teams in different organisations. Fabio is a native of Italy, fluent in French, English. He has been working and living in Ireland for the last 7 years.

He has a Master degree in Electronic Engineering and a Master in Organisation, Management and Innovation. He is the co-founder of Pentago, a team coaching company that operates in Ireland, UK and Italy.