Facilitating the client’s growth, alongside allowing for insights and learning are two of ICF’s core competencies which underpin the ability of the coach to support the client in deepening their learning and thereafter translating this into forward moving actions. How can we bring this competency to life when the world is so frantic around us? It is essential for us to be aware of not only who and what we are dealing with at that given moment in time, but also of ourselves, who we are and where we are at that moment. Showing a part of ourselves as coaches, the things that are most important to us, that we are passionate about, brings an element to the coaching relationship that encourages trust and safety- showing up as our whole, authentic, present self, encouraging our client to do the same. When we know what is truly important to us and what makes us ‘us’, we find grounding and are then able to make sense of the chaos in the world around us. If we can have a relationship with a person that gives the capacity for growth, for change and development to occur, growth occurs in the direction of self-esteem, flexibility and change.
As coaches, self-awareness and presence are the two most important tools we will use as coaches. Removing the label from coach and client and putting the person at the center of the relationship will breathe an environment for change – it’s not just the client who is important, we are just as important. Real growth evolves out of the coaching relationship when we are able to marry our thoughts of the real self with the ideal self, and this is where congruence occurs. When they are too far apart, we experience incongruency. This underlines how self-awareness and understanding our values, beliefs, strengths, and skills allows us to bring this ideal self even closer to our real self. With presence, if we are overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, our brains reprogram themselves in a way that doesn’t facilitate learning and growth – our hypothalamus shrinks whilst our amygdala stays enlarged. If we find this is how we are showing up, any efforts to develop will be done so in vain, as often we find we need LESS instead of MORE to grow- less stressed, less tired, less busy etc. The constant over stimulation of living in a frantic world tricks our brain into thinking it can multitask, however it leads to us not really being able to figure ‘it’ out. So how can we bring awareness and presence before we enter a coaching session? Here’s your personal checklist, courtesy of Andrea Splendori:
- B – Be yourself
- L – Listen to truly understand
- A – Ask questions to create insight
- S – Selfless- Be interested not interesting
- T – Trust the process
And do have a BLAST- Enjoy it!
