A distinct and important new competency was added to the ICF’s Updated Core Competencies, published in November 2019, and that is to Embody a Coaching Mindset.
Investing in yourself as a coach is of the utmost importance as the coaching industry continues to grow globally. Your mindset influences how you think, feel and behave in any given situation. As a coach, being in a situation where you are coaching to unlock ‘…a person’s potential to maximise their own performance’ and ‘…helping them to learn rather than teaching them.’ (Whitmore, 2010), what does it mean to Embody a Coaching Mindset?
A coaching mindset is the foundation to your practice – even before you start to integrate the framework, tools, techniques and models. It is hard to move with your client alongside the process of change without using a coaching mindset. It is grounded in the following –
Curiosity
Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable as a coach. When we approach coaching from a point of curiosity we empower our coachee to step into territories of thoughts, emotions and feelings that may make them, likewise, feel vulnerable. We thus have to surrender to uncertainty. We have to ask questions – the right questions, the right time, the right way and in the right context whilst being ok with admitting to not knowing the answers. All while being curious, we as a coach have to be prepared for pushback and resistance when clients feel discomfort through their discoveries.
Open Mind, Heart & Soul
Through openness we can lure ideas out of the shadows, which is connected to ethos, pathos and lagos – having personal credibility, empathy and using logic. Pathos is particularly important when it comes to embodying a coaching mindset. If we don’t feel for our coachee or empathise with them we fall victim to a barrier of psychological safety in the coaching process in which our coachee will hold back in expressing and revealing the truth in what’s holding them back. We need to ‘get inside our coachee’s head’ and in turn ‘replicate this feeling within ourselves’. With an open mind, heart and soul we bring an air of lack of judgement to the coaching space and this encourages our coachees to dive deeper into the exploratory nature of coaching.
Having no attachment to our Client’s goal
The main problem with being attached to our client’s goal is that we inhibit our power of curiosity when we fall into our client’s circle of concern, resulting in a state of bias in your coaching approach. How can you ask the right questions, creating a neutral, unattached agenda so that you can coach from a global perspective? In order to aid your client in seeing their situation from a 360 point of view, you cannot be attached to an outcome or result- you must stay in objectivity rather than subjectivity. Lead through enquiry and remain unattached to any specific outcome.
Contextual Awareness – Knowing when to talk and When to Listen
Embodying a coaching mindset means knowing when to talk and when to listen. Using the tool of ‘3 Poker Chips’ means allowing yourself only 3 opportunities to jump in and talk. The magic of less talking means your client will do more talking and start to self realise, opening up the portals to themselves, and start finding some answers. Ask yourself ‘Who am I serving when I talk?’. Whenever you talk remember you are not operating from inside your client’s head when you talk, so make sure that when you talk it is done with purpose, helping to move your client forward. Ask yourself before you jump in ‘How hard have I worked at holding my client in positive regard?’. It is critical to hold the belief that your client has the wisdom within themselves to find their own answers without my need for interruption of this process. Third order change must happen through themselves, and this usually happens in moments of silence.
Being the Learner and not the Knower
When we embody being the learner and not the knower we provide our clients with a safe space, allowing ideas to sit, synthesize, perculate, develop and transform. Through coaching we must provide focused and at the same time constructive intention, helping to nurture that intellectually fertile environment within our clients head. Leading through enquiry rather than advocacy is fundamental to bringing the coaching mindset to the coaching space.
Being Authentic
Bringing our true selves to the coaching interaction, and what you are saying being true to who you are is another element of what it means to embody and personify the coaching mindset. Quality coaching evolves as a result of consistently applying the fundamental basics.
Through our reflective practice we can build upon these elements that make up the coaching mindset. However, the act of reflective practice in and of itself is an expression of the coach’s dedication to ongoing learning and development, whilst moving with the client in the coaching process whilst remaining flexible. This summarises what it means to personify and embody a coaching mindset.
