Published in Kingstown College Coaching Magazine 2019/2020
Those new to writing may be anxious to share their work and seek opinion on it very early on in the process. Showing the work in progress to people too soon, be they professionals or family and friends, can be damaging.
Many people dream of writing a book; their autobiography, a self-help idea, the novel. Most people don’t get as far as writing the first line. Countless others have beginnings, but no endings. Susan Browne is an EMCC accredited Life Coach and shares some valuable thoughts and strategies for getting pen to paper.
Clients who reach out to a coach for help in writing a book are almost certainly:
a) Very serious about finishing it.
b) Experiencing difficulty doing so.
In this article, I would like to share with you some tips for coaching a client who wants support for writing their book, as well as some insider tips from the writer point of view. I have offered powerful questions as well as short visualisation exercises throughout the article that could be used or adapted in your practice.
On writing my first book, Angel EFT, I thought about it for three years before making a serious attempt and finishing it. Now, writing my second book, as a coach this time around I can take the challenges that are ‘the process’ and apply my coaching skills, as well as help clients who have come to me for help in getting their book written.
Overcoming Fear and managing the Inner Critic
Most people won’t start or progress their book because of Fear. Fear of looking stupid; Fear of not being as good a writer as they first thought; Fear of being rejected; Fear of upsetting someone. I approach this with the idea that to write the book is only the first step.
The world is not genuinely sitting, scratching its chin, watching over their shoulder. That is just the inner critic. The inner critic won’t merely go away, but the client can notice it for what it is, and tell it that its critique is welcome later, at the editing stage, but not just now in the creation stage.
Reassurance that the creation stage is not even supposed to be good, never mind finished or ready to show an editor/publisher/the public can help the self-conscious writer. Just as one might put dung on the garden to fertilise it, the client might need to write some dung before the good stuff can grow.
Powerful Question: If you could advise a friend who was feeling fearful about writing their book, what might you say?
Getting Something Down
For the client who is having trouble getting started, or has started and then got stuck, suggest in your session a mind map. If you are working online suggest your client get a piece of paper and a pen and write something in the centre like ‘ideas,’ or the name of their book. Encourage them to relax if they are tense suggest a brief breathing exercise to help them to be calm. Having them relax allows ideas to flow better. It’s fine to doodle images as well as using words.
Visualisation: Imagine that it’s the end of the week and you have written your target amount and are pleased about it. You know it will need editing, but you feel glad to have done this work and have this much down. Now ask your future self if s/he any advice for you, notice what they say.
The Need for Validation and learning to Self-Validate
Those new to writing may be anxious to share their work and seek opinion on it very early on in the process. Showing the work in progress to people too soon, be they professionals or family and friends, can be damaging. Just like a baby growing in the womb doesn’t need to be taken out and looked at, nor do embryonic ideas for a book. They need time in the darkness to grow and receive nutrients.
Clients often seek validation, feeling lonely and wondering if they are on the right path. Working with them to trust themselves and the writing process can be useful, to create ways of self-validation.
Powerful Question: Which of your strengths can help you to feel more confident in this process?
Showing up when you say you will – chunking down goals
Part of making the action happen is for your client to create a realistic plan in bite-size chunks to get their book written. If they want to write a 40,000-word self-help book in eight months, look at how can they break this down into smaller goals.
On writing my first book, I decided to set the target of writing just 500 words, five days a week. It’s not much, but over time it grew into a book. It was easy for me to achieve 500 words, and it was measurable. Until the editing process, which involves cutting words and changing things around. At this time, the goals needed adjusting.
How to know if goals are realistic or not
Many writers have the luxury – and precarity – of having an undefined time limit to finish the book. Others will have inflexible external deadlines to meet, such as that of a publisher.
You will soon discover if goals are realistic or not by how the client performs in meeting targets. Know from the outset, that particularly if this is their first book, the goals may need tweaking and reviewing as you go along.
Setting writing goals that are not achievable and then not adjusting them can lead to feelings of failure and self-sabotage. As a coach, look out for these tendencies and talk to your client about them.
Support your client when targets aren’t being met by saying something like ‘I notice it’s been hard to stick to your original goal with this. Is it time to adjust the goal do you think? Knowing what you know now, what might you change your goal to?’
Keep Powering Forward
Encourage your client not to begin the editing process too soon. As in, let them try to finish an entire first draft before editing. It’s very tempting to start editing chapters before you are finished, but can lead to getting muddled and not moving the book forward.
Parallel Projects
Some believe that you must get it written and not worry about anything else. Others will say that you need to build your author platform. People you can sell the book to once it’s written.
This is a very valid point but needs to be balanced. If the client is working on their social media posts to build an audience, this is well and good if the book is still progressing. Ten minutes on twitter networking with other writers or potential customers can quickly turn into an hour and eat into valuable writing time.
For me, starting writing first thing in the morning with no internet use is best. Even if I want to do an internet search for some information for the book, I find it best to write my search query down on a piece of paper to come back to later when internet use is allowed.
Writers Block and Procrastination
Sometimes I wish that the term Writers Block had never been invented. It gets used as though it were some medical diagnosis. People will turn to any number of other jobs to avoid writing, and the introspective client may even go on an endless psychotherapeutic quest to find reasons why they can’t write.
So, how do you confront your client when you suspect they are presenting to you with a host of excuses? Naming procrastination could be the best gift you can give them, but you want to maintain the rapport. You want them to know you are still on their side, and not catching them out.
Powerful Questions:
- What needs to change for you to succeed in writing this book?
- What one thing can you do today to progress your book?
Staying on Task – Being Accountable
Many people writing a book have a lot of other things going on in their lives. There is always a reason not to sit down and write. There are other things to be done. Writing can be a joy, but it can also be agony. This is the Fear and self-doubt that plagues writers and is common to all. Creating a daily visual check-in that the coachee can work with can help create accountability. A paper calendar to check off when the set amount of writing completed is very effective.
Visualising the Finished Product
I can’t emphasise enough how much it helps writers to frequently imagine their book, already written and printed.
Visualisation: Imagine that you are holding your completed book in your hands and feeling great about it. What does the cover look like, and how does it feel? What colours do you see? How do the pages smell? Allow yourself to bask in the feeling of success and happiness as you connect with your finished book. Feel proud of your achievement. Imagine others congratulating you.
Powerful Question: How would you like people to feel who are reading your book?
By Susan Browne
Susan Browne – Life Coach, EMCC. After mental health nursing for thirteen years, Susan transitioned into her own private wellbeing business. A qualified counsellor, EFT Trainer, Life Coach and holistic therapist, based in Co. Kerry, Ireland since 2000 and originally from Warwickshire, England. Susan provides coaching and runs holistic workshops, helping people to overcome self-limiting beliefs and achieve personal goals. Outside of her wellness work, Susan is writing her second book – a novel. Her first, ‘Angel EFT’ is a Mind, Body & Spirit book published by Dragon Rising, UK. Find out more about Susan’s work at angeleft.com and lightlifelearning.com and her writing at sbrowneauthor.com.
